You may have heard of the popular study known as The Marshmallow Experiment, first published in 1972. It examines how children respond when faced with the dilemma of immediately enjoying one marshmallow or earning a second marshmallow by waiting 15 minutes.
The study examines self-control—who has it, who doesn’t, and what self-control at age four has to do with long-term success. Even though new studies suggest that the marshmallow test fails to be a predictor of later success in life, this study does illustrate a truth about desire: The more we’re exposed to what we want, the more we are controlled by it.
The kids who quickly gobbled up the first marshmallow spent their time touching it, sniffing it, or just pretending to eat it–as shown in this reenactment video:
How Desire Grows in Us
In the same way, if we spend our time thinking about what we want, imagining what it will look and feel like, and planning how to get it, that desire will grow in its control over us.
When that desire is for something you know is wrong, it’s not too hard to recognize a problem. Once you realize you’re wanting something that God says you shouldn’t want, you clearly see the choice before you.
The Subtleties of Desire
But desire can be sneaky. Your desire can be unselfish, something good for others, even work you do for God. You may earnestly desire to earn a good wage so that you can contribute to the poor. Or you may be seeking God for his blessing, or you may be seeking God for his direction and purpose for your life. However, any desires that are not for God himself are actually a replacement for him. And those desires take over your life and become so important to you that you worry greatly about not getting what you desire—or about losing what you did get.
Even people can fall into the “replacement for God” category. If you’re putting a loved one ahead of God, you’re in for a great deal of worry in your life.
What God asks us to do is to first desire a relationship with him and to give up the desires of our heart. In doing so, we also give up the anxiety that envelopes those desires. We discover the peace of God that transcends understanding when we focus our thoughts and affection on a faithful and loving God instead of upon our desires.
The Desire Trap
To do otherwise is to spin a web of desire that ultimately traps us. We will find, like Solomon, that even our deepest met desires never satisfy: “Yet when I surveyed all that my hands had done and what I had toiled to achieve, everything was meaningless, a chasing after the wind; nothing was gained under the sun” (Ecclesiastes 2:11).
If you find yourself constantly anxious or disappointed, perhaps it’s time to break out of the Desire Trap by trusting God completely with your life. If the God in your life doesn’t seem big enough or good enough to be trustworthy, it’s time for a new view of God—a God you can worship instead of the things you desire.
I even suggest that God will grow bigger (in your heart) the more you worship him.
Trading Your Desires for God Himself
If you’re not sure where to begin, look at the stars! God’s world is jam-packed with his glory, his creation continually calling us to worship. Isaiah 55:12 reminds us that “the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.”
When you begin to be caught up in your own desires—perhaps for your career, your family, your image, your own plans and dreams, or even just for marshmallows, turn your worship to God instead. Give God the attention that your desires are demanding. Behold his power and glory and fall to your knees in love and thanksgiving!
My prayer for you and for me is that we praise, with complete trust, “the God who lights up the day with sun and brightens the night with moon and stars, who whips the ocean into a billowy froth, whose name is God-of-the-Angel-Armies (Jeremiah 31:35).
This is the God who is always at work for our good when we are called by his purposes (Romans 8:28). May we seek him first and trust him with the rest!
The more we are exposed to what we want, the more we are controlled by it. Sweets, I know that is small in comparison to what some people deal with. But for me, its a huge problem. Its a stronghold that keeps me from losing the weight I desire to lose. I have always had a sweet tooth. I eat and can think of nothing else other than fixing a cup of coffee and having something sweet. That sentence resonates with me. I’m gonna write it at the top of every grocery list. Because even though I want to stop eating sweets, every time I go to grocery store, I buy them!
Angel, I know what you mean about sweets. I’m actually learning to enjoy coffee all by itself!
Beautifully written! Such a wonderful reminder to give over my desires to God, and everything will work out for his greater good! Being reminded to give over all my anxiety’s is just what I needed to be reminded of this week!
Beautifully written! Such a wonderful reminder to give over my desires to God, and everything will work out for his greater good! Being reminded to give over all my anxiety’s is just what I needed to be reminded of this week!
Jenna, I’m so glad God spoke to you through it!
Great post! I love the idea of trading our desires for God. He is so good and I am thankful that He works all things for our good.
Jackson, thank you for sharing!