It’s not hard to see why we shouldn’t run in the dark. When we go where we shouldn’t, most of us expect to suffer the consequences of what goes bump in the night.
But what about the bumps that come our way when we walk in the light? What about the pain, sorrow, grief, illness, betrayal, injustice, tragedy, and death that no one escapes in this life?
Some without faith may decide that either there is no God or that God doesn’t love us all that much—at least not enough to keep us well and happy. As a follower of Jesus, however, I know just how much God does love me.
Or do I?
What does it really mean to know that God loves me?
How Does God Love?
This past weekend, my husband and I stayed with dear friends who are renting a condo in North Myrtle Beach. On Sunday we all visited Faith Wesleyan Church, where Pastor Tom Holloway both preaches and leads worship. It was during worship that God overwhelmed my soul with a new understanding of his love for me.
It happened during David Crowder’s song, “How He Loves.” I already knew the lyrics. But when I got to the words, “He is jealous for me,” God was suddenly there, saying, “Tonya, I am jealous for you. You are mine, and nothing can get in the way of my love. You are under my protective custody. But I do more than watch over you and bring good out of even what is meant to harm you–
I always seek your good.
In that moment, I was thunderstruck by God’s love, a love so fierce, so passionate, so active, so powerful, so extravagant that just thinking about it absolutely wrecked me. As I wiped away tears, I finally understood that nothing, absolutely nothing, could ever harm my soul, no matter what the world threw at me. If you’ve ever seen a video of a mother grizzly defending her cubs against a predator, now think of the creator and sustainer of life standing between his beloved and the darkness that seeks to separate us from him.
That day I met the love of the all-powerful father who protects and defends his daughter against everything that became wrong with this world. Yes, I still live in a messed-up world—and yes, I’ll die in a messed-up world—but I’ll do it all in the arms of the one who actively seeks my good in all things. He is always seeking, always protecting, always fighting against the darkness for me.
Take that, world!
When We Don’t Feel God’s Love
That day, the love of God drenched me with an awareness of his jealous love. But I also remind myself that even during the times that I don’t necessarily feel God’s love, it is still there. Even when I have questions about God’s love, it is still there.
I think doubt springs into action when we focus on asking God why. Why did that happen? Why did you allow that to happen? Why didn’t you stop that from happening?
Someone who asked those questions was Job, who lived in unrelieved misery for months with physical, emotional, and social wounds. He ended up an outcast from town with itchy, open sores all over his body after his ten children were killed during a storm that also took away his wealth. This man, who had been the “greatest man among all the people in the east” (Job 11:3), was now scorned by his wife and chastened by his friends.
The name Job means “Where is the father?” Job wanted to know where God was when Job needed him. After lengthy conversations in which he continued to question God’s justice and love, Job finally relented and said, “My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you” (42:5). God never answered Job’s why question of suffering; instead, God answered the who question of suffering: “Who is sufficient for everything in life, even the suffering that is part of this age?”
When There Are No More Bumps
One coming day God’s sovereign rule will put everything right. Just because we live in the present evil age filled with injustice, hate, and violence does not mean that evil hasn’t already been judged, that Jesus didn’t defeat the forces of evil on the cross, that we haven’t been rescued, and that the day of justice isn’t coming. Instead, we can rejoice that God has already “delivered us from the dominion of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son” (Colossians 1:13). This coming kingdom, with Jesus as king, is a continuing theme in the Bible as prophesied by Isaiah before the birth of Jesus and by the apostle John after the resurrection of Jesus:
For behold, I create
new heavens and a new earth,
and the former things
shall not be remembered
or come into mind” (Isaiah 65:17).
“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth … and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling placeof God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God”
(Revelation 21:1-3).
Christians are already part of this kingdom, and we are to live as if we are part of it. We are to pray as Jesus taught his disciples in what is known as Lord’s Prayer: “Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). We are a people of hope looking forward to our resurrected bodies and to an earth without evil. But we’re also living in the present darkness and must remember that we are hidden deep in the father’s jealous love for us. We can rest in knowing that God will never leave us and will always actively seek our good.
When you struggle with knowing God’s jealous love for you, take a minute to think about his love. Shut your eyes and feel God’s arms around you, his love holding you in every loss you’ve experienced, radiating through every broken part of you. Breathe in his protection, his goodness, his light, and his love. Then breathe out your doubts, your griefs, your sorrows.
Father, may we walk in the light in this dark world, always resting in your amazing, jealous love!