Who Are You, Really?

I recently realized that I don’t see myself in the mirror as others see me. I don’t mean that I miss seeing the lipstick on my teeth that my husband points out to me.

I mean that all mirrors reflect us reversed—they switch what we see as left and right. (See the end of the article to learn how to see yourself unreversed.)

Mirrors aside, it is hard to see yourself as others see you. Perhaps you never saw yourself as a leader until someone encouraged you to lead. Perhaps you always thought of yourself as unattractive until someone called you beautiful. Perhaps a teacher once said that you’d never be good at “blank,” so you’ve never tried to be good at “blank.”

Seeing Ourselves As God Sees Us

I think it’s most difficult to see ourselves as God sees us. We may expect God to be as critical of us as others (or we) are. We may try to hide our flaws and mistakes from God because we fear losing his love. Sometimes we may confuse God with Santa, thinking we can keep ourselves off the “naughty list” if we do enough good things.

Even though I became a believer at age 25, I was 30 before I was able to fully admit my brokenness to God. My understanding of God was that of a rule giver, and I believed that my responsibility to God was to be a morally good person. My parents taught me right from wrong, so I tried my best to always do the right. And I covered it up when I didn’t.

Then one morning I was reading the Bible when a verse leapt off the page into my heart—“There is no one righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10). I remember thinking, “What? Nobody is good? Not them, not me? I really don’t have to keep pretending!”

Relief washed over me as I realized that God knew the real me and loved the real me. He created, chose, redeemed, and purposed me—and all of that had nothing to do with my own goodness! I was finally free to admit my brokenness because I finally understood that God loves not the righteous people (there are none) but the broken.

I can’t explain how I had missed understanding that truth in the five years I’d been reading the Bible. But those words of God led to a spiritual transformation, and I was no longer the rule-keeper pleasing the rule-giver. I was the beloved

I was no longer the rule-keeper pleasing the rule-giver.

Living As God’s Beloved

If you don’t yet know yourself as God’s beloved, consider what God says about you:

I welcome you. (from Romans 15:7)

I love you and gave myself for you. (from Galatians 2:20)

Because you are my child, I sent the Spirit of my Son into your heart (from Galatians 4:6)

Wherever you are, I’ll find you—I’m already there waiting! (from Psalm 139:10)

I am working in you both to will and to work according to my good purpose (from Philippians 2:13)

Absolutely nothing will ever separate you from my love (from Romans 8:39)

You are God’s beloved, and he has blessed you with an identity as his image-bearer, which means that you were designed by God in love, to love, and to be loved. We are the only created beings made in the image and likeness of God, enabling us to fellowship with God and others in a personal way that brings both God and us great enjoyment.

Figuring Out the Rest

Once we base our sense of identity in God, we can begin the work of figuring out other aspects of who we are.

Here are six great self-assessment tools to help you with self-discovery:

1. DISC Personality Test (Read more at DISC Profiles.)
2. Jung Personality Test  (Read more about your type at Personality Types.)
3. Big 5 Personality Test. (Read more at The Big Five Personality Traits.)
4. The Enneagram Test (Read more at The Nine Enneagram Type Descriptions.)
5. Emotional Healthy Assessment (Read more in Emotionally Healthy Spirituality: It’s Impossible to Be Spiritually Mature, While Remaining Emotionally Immature.)
6. Spiritual Gifts Survey (Read more at What Are Spiritual Gifts?)

As you assess your personality, motivations, desires, fears, strengths, emotional health, and spiritual gifts–within the framework an identity in God–the person staring at you from the mirror should become much clearer, even though it’s reversed!

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MIRROR-MIRROR IMAGE: If you hold two mirrors like a book in front of you, with their edges touching and at right angles, you’ll see a reflection of your reflection–the way others see you!