How our best intentions can sabotage humility

More than 80 references in Scripture warn against self-exaltation.

In fact, Jesus spoke about humility and pride more often than any other moral contrast, perhaps because these two postures determine how well we love. Pride resists reconciliation not only with God but also with others.

Sometimes pride is ugly and obvious.

Like that displayed by Nebuchadnezzar, the ancient king of Babylon, who was the uncontested ruler of the world. He called Babylon “the city of my kingdom, the delight of my heart. His own inscriptions boast, “I built the palace for the wonder of mankind.”

But pride can also be so subtle that we may not recognize it in ourselves. It can masquerade as positive qualities while tainting how we serve God and others. And if we’re not paying attention, these prideful tendencies can form habits that silently shift our trust from God to ourselves.

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Are You Familiar with Any of These Habits?

If you’re ready for some self-reflection, here are eight ways that pride can wind its way into our best intentions:

1. Always Taking Charge

Looks like: leadership, initiative, responsibility.
Danger: never giving others space to contribute; failing to ask God for His direction
Pride check: Do I believe that if I don’t lead, everything will fall apart?

2. Being the Helper Who Never Needs Help

Looks like: selflessness and generosity
Danger: masks self-reliance
Pride check: Do I feel uneasy when someone offers to pray for or serve me?

3. Staying Busy for God

Looks like: faithfulness and productivity
Danger: neglecting time with God
Pride check: Do I try to show my importance to others?

4. Always Having the Right Answer

Looks like: wisdom, knowledge, confidence in truth
Danger: pride in intellect
Pride check: Do I listen to understand—or to respond?

5. Setting High Standards

Looks like: excellence, diligence, stewardship
Danger: perfectionism that makes success an idol
Pride check: Do I feel anxious or like a failure when things aren’t perfect?

6. Discipling Others but Resisting Discipling

Looks like: mentorship, discernment, leadership
Danger: directing others while failing at self-examination
Pride check: When was the last time I identified something in myself that needed changing?

7. Pursuing Success

Looks like: mission, purpose, ambition, zeal
Danger: doing for God without being with God.
Pride check: Am I comfortable being loved by God when I’m not accomplishing anything? Do I compare my accomplishments to those of others?

8. Thinking of Yourself as Modest

Looks like: humility, restraint, spiritual maturity
Danger: pride-wrapped humility
Pride check: Would I be content if no one ever noticed my accomplishments?

Now What?

What do we do if we believe any of these tendencies or habits describe us? After all, we can’t just try harder to be humble. True humility isn’t thinking less of ourselves; it’s thinking of ourselves less—and thinking of God more. As we see God rightly, we see ourselves rightly before Him.

The cure for pride is not more effort, but more awe.

When we fix our eyes on Jesus, the One who humbled Himself even to the point of death, pride has no choice but to shrink in the presence of His glory.

So as we uncover these subtle deceptions in our hearts, let’s not despair. Let’s bring them into the light of God’s grace, asking Him to shape in us the same mind that is in Christ Jesus: a heart that delights to serve, to love, and to surrender.

Search me, O God, and know my heart;
    test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Point out anything in me that offends you,
    and lead me along the path of everlasting life.
Psalm 139:23-24